1. Get someone else to take your kids to school

2. Ask the school if you can drop your child off 5 mins before the gate opens (tell your kids why this is happening – because you are tired of explaining etc)

3. Ask if you can drop your child off at a different entrance (again explain to your kid so they don’t feel it is a weird punishment for them)

4. If you have another parent you like, let them be the conduit for all gossip. Ask them to tell the other parents that you are not yet ready to talk/don’t fancy talking but thank you for the concern!

There are lots of things a school can put in place that will support your child. Some kids view school as a sanctuary where they don’t have to think about their parent being sick, others will find talking about what is happening at home very helpful.

Schools have to deal with many issues happening in children’s lives on top of providing education, so your voice might get lost. Best to find a teacher both you and your child click with and talk face to face.

Take the list we have compiled so you can discuss different things they can put in place.

Talk to your child to try and understand why they don’t want to go. If they are worried about leaving you, give them something small to keep in their pocket (button, stone) and you keep one too. They feel a sense of connection whilst you are apart.

For older kids, give them permission (and remember to tell the school) to text you during school break times. Tell them what you are going to be doing during the day (if having treatment, you could send photos of where you are, your CNS etc).

If they don’t want to go because they feel school is pointless now their parent is sick, talk about the future and how things won’t always be like this. Talk with school staff, explain what is happening and try to get them to introduce a new important task for your child to do – something that your child would value and respect.

It also might be something really simple such as they don’t like the friend’s parent who drops them to school (!), in which case you might be able to switch childcare.

Talk to the school staff, someone who you feel comfortable with, and explain that perhaps your child is not physically unwell and therefore doesn’t need to be picked up. Explain that they might be feeling sad, anxious, or lonely so ask if the school can put some things in place. For example:

1) Lunchtime activities like helping with the library

2) Allowing Lego/iPad time during class time if they start to feel overwhelmed (they could just show a card to the teacher)

3) Having a worry box in class where they park their worries

4) Having a dedicated adult they trust to talk to each day

5) Creating a special club with their friends for lunch and play time, such as drawing, gaming, skipping.